I’m childfree but only recently became comfortable with advertising it a bit more in a public space. In fact, I started this blog as a means for me to get comfortable with myself and the concept of being able to publicly admit my childfree status to many people.
I’m not militantly against kids & in fact, strive to be a great aunt, cousin, & sister. I love knitting baby things for people! I’m the annoying person that the adults make the younger ones look up to – not on purpose or anything, but because I care a lot for the younger ones in my family. Some of them are in dire need of a good example of a successfully married & working woman. I strive to be the most authentic & strong person that I can for them. I encourage them to push as far as they’re willing to go to better their lives. I consider this my duty to them – and it’s something I could not do nearly as well if I had my own children. Not to the degree some of them need me to do it.
My reasons for not having children are incredibly personal & painful outside of some of the common benefits others site for not wanting children: wanting to have more disposable income, more free time, et cetera. That stuff is nice too. But ultimately: being childfree is not about what my reasons are – because they should not matter.
Being childfree, ultimately, is about choice. It’s about choosing to live the life you want to live outside of societal norms or expectations.
It is about supporting my choice and the choices of those who choose to be childfree for the reasons that you don’t agree with… and the reasons you do.
5 thoughts on “Monday Musings: On Being Childfree”
You don’t need to explain it to anyone, not is it their right to have an opinion.
More than once a day I get ‘now you’re married, when are the kids coming?’
None of your damn business, actually. I actually tell people how inappropriate they are being these days, be it medical or choice there is no reason for them to be asking me that.
Own your reasons even if it makes others feel awkward. Maybe it will teach them a good lesson!
Wow, more than once a day from people? I’m lucky in that my mother is quite clear on my reasons and rationale & does not push even if she may not agree with it. As some time has gone on with us being married, I find the questions coming less from other people & my answers matter less. Figure anyone will know when I have children whenever I actually have them, haha. People are funny.
There are many ways to love children without being a biological mother. I support your choice.
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Thank you! I often express this very thing to people. I can suppport children without having them.
It is so important to keep the dialogue open and running about the choice to remain childfree. Thank you for your open and honest take!